The Adventures of Stinky Sweet:

Sometimes stinky. Sometimes sweet. But it's our life - and it is always good.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Too busy.

I love my job. I'll always start with that because it somehow makes me feel better about all the hours I spend doing it. People hear who I work for and wonder how it can be that big of a deal but we are serious about what we do. We have project teams, strategic planning 3 years in advance, and read hundreds of pages of research in an effort to try our best to succeed in our mission. A majority of our staff (cause, let's be honest, there are always folks who aren't engaged) is deeply dedicated to our "cause" and give lots of extra hours, tons of heart, and lots of brain power to keep us moving in the right direction.

That being said. I'm exhausted. I don't feel like I can give my home life the attention that it needs and I feel guilty for wanting to be successful in both my work and home life. Can you really have it both ways? Someone told me recently that if they had to choose between a successful career that they felt good about and a family that they would choose a family - simply because they didn't think they could give both 100%. Does it have to be all or nothing? I don't even have children that I am trying to raise and I already struggle with spending enough time on either work or home. If you give too much at home, work thinks you aren't dedicated. If you give too much at work, your family and home suffer. Honestly, if I had to choose, I would pick a healthy family and those relationships over work. But I love what I do and I feel like I am pretty good at it. Can you have both? Weigh in here folks, I need some insight.

That being said, I will be in Knoxville or out of town for 12 out of the 21 working days in March. Between team meetings, presenting at a conference, a staff meeting, and multiple 2 day meetings for the big project team I am working with, I won't be home much. I feel really bad about it for some reason. I know that Chad works second shift and it isn't like he'll be home at night most nights if I was there but I feel guilty. He's not getting the best of me when I am there and he surely isn't getting the best of me when I am in a hotel in Knoxville. But I believe in the work we are doing. Deeply. But I come home and I don't want to do dishes or vacuum because I am just too tired. Is there a happy medium? I have plans to take 3 days off the end of March to hang out with my guy. He wanted to burn some vacation time and I am all too happy to oblige. Is that the compromise? Work hard and then play hard but don't try to do both?