soapbox.

If you don't want to read a serious rant, skip today's post...because I am about to lay it down!

I realize a work a lot. I've written about it multiple times and how I struggle to find the balance between work and home things and my personal life. I know there are a lot of nights when I am out at work and Chad is home without me, fending for himself for dinner and getting things done around the house. But this week has been a whole different story and is grating heavily on my emotions. I have worked a lot this week but it has been a fairly normal load for me. I had daily regular work and worked Tuesday and Thursday nights for meetings. I was lucky enough to take all day Wednesday off to hang out with my sister which was a MUCH needed break. Chad, on the other hand, has worked some serious hours this week. His week started when we got back to Chattanooga on Sunday with a call out to a fire about the time we got in bed. He pretty much worked sun-up to sun-down Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday (meaning he left home before the sun and got home around midnight. Literally.) He was on overtime by Wednesday.

He finally got a day off today and worked around the house all morning. He cut down trees and hauled them off. He is hot, tired, and a week of terrible sleeping hours and hard physical work (not to mention all the smoke he inhales all week at work) has worn on him. I was seriously looking forward to a 3-day weekend of hanging out around the house and running some errands and I have been praying that would actually happen and fires would stay at bay. No Luck. He just got called out - literally 20  minutes after I got home this afternoon.

So here is my SOAPBOX (you probably just read something similiar on my FB page...but it limits your status words and boy did I have more to say.):

Here's to all the Idiots...
To the people who were raised poorly, trained terribly, and don't care about others,
To the people who throw cigarette butts out their car windows onto drought stricken land,
To the people who don't know how to properly put out a campfire so it doesn't catch acres of precious woodlands on fire (the Girl Scouts have a FREE class for that - I will teach it myself.),
To the supremely selfish and classy folks who think arson is an appropriate solution to their problems or that it should be used to cover another crime,
To the uneducated and somehow unaware public that doesn't realize we haven't had rain in over a month and a half and that you need a permit to burn your trash or brush - which won't be issued because of nationwide drought conditions,
I salute you.
Carrying my garden hose and my watering can and wearing my Smokey the Bear ballcap,
I salute you.

Because you, my friend, are the people that put the people I LOVE in danger because they have to come clean up YOUR mess. Because of you, my husband and his coworkers inhale more fire smoke than could ever be considered healthy. And you carelessly remove any chance I might have of spending some quality time with my hardworking, dedicated, wonderful husband. Why do they do this? Because it is their job - their barely-pays-the-bills-and-yet-they-are-still-dedicated-job. They do it to protect YOUR houses and YOUR land from burning up. They do it to protect YOUR crops from burning up. They do it to protect the land YOU want to hunt on and ride your stupid ATV's on.

I'm not sorry for saying this.

Edited later to add: Chad just called and said it was raining where he was on the fire. I know that prayers are always answered and sometimes how and where we least expect it. God is good. But I'm still mad.

soapbox (not tide) + my eternal salvation

I am proud to be an American citizen. I love this country and support her democracy. I will never change my citizenship nor my allegience to both my God and my country. I voted for our current president (gasp!). I unendingly support out troops both here and abroad yet unabashedly oppose war. I love living in Tennessee - no payroll tax! - and I even voted for the current governor (I like to pick the winners!) I have a degree in political science and I typically understand laws, crime, taxes, and politics. (I guess I am a woman of contradictions...double gasp!). I have incredible amounts of respect for those who are in authority over us, as I am Biblically instructed to do, and also choose to do because it just seems right.
However, I am so frustrated and confused by our annual tax system that it brings me to tears.
Here is a breakdown and my soapbox:
When I started my job with the Girl Scouts (ahem...non-profit organization and I am at the bottom of the totem pole - you can imagine what my paycheck looks like), I had them max out my witholding. I had a little dream at the time that they might take out enough taxes that I would get a little something back come 2011. Not much...maybe enough for us to take a weekend vacation nearby (this is the couple that never took a honeymoon...no pity party - it was our financial choice at the time). I knew that we were buying our first house (woohoo - automatic $8,000 back!) and we also replaced all the windows with super-energy effecient beauties - getting us an additional $1,500 back in tax credits for making these changes to our house. Come on, right there that should be close to $10,000.
We are not students. We have no children. Double screwed. (And yet, somehow it doesn't quite feel that way).
Chad works for the state of Tennessee. That equalled our triple screwed. And as they say - third time is a charm. They withheld $19 from his paychecks for the entire year of 2010. Yes, folks $19 in federal taxes. Now granted, remember me working at the bottom of the non-profit totem pole? He still makes less than me. By about half. Please, try to imagine his paycheck. (Yes, I give you a pity party permission slip right now....ok, you can stop.). So they should have taken a bit more than 19 buckaroos so we owed them a chunk of our return money. He had the same problem last year so he changed his witholding so they would take out more money. Apparently that didn't take...
We had been planning on building a garage behind out house with that money. And it would have taken the whole $10,000 plus some but probably would not have required a loan (woohoo for as little debt as possible!!). As it turns out, I will probably have to have another car before we build a garage - making it a bigger priority - and requiring pretty much all of our return plus some (boo - for auto loans).
Did I mention that we are blessed beyond measure? I feel we have given generously this year. We were blessed in multiple ways, through multiple people and we were able to give back in some very small ways over the last year. I am not asking for something in return - certainly not from the federal government - and I have a theory that God avoids getting involved in tax season whenever it is possible (however, I know it is omnipotent - and I am totally kidding!) But I feel like we gave and paid for things knowing we could write them off later and made wise financial decisions and prayed before making purchases and researched and sacrificed some things we thought we didn't need and....on and on. And yet, we still are not where we thought we would be because of some bizarre tax confusion and crazy governmental problems or a screw up at the Tennessee HR dept. or IRS. Who freakin' knows...Either way. We just flat out are not where we thought we would be.
Bottom line - we didn't give enough away or spend enough or have enough taxes taken out to help our cause with the IRS.
Chad thinks it might be God's way of saying we don't need a car or a garage right now -that we should save the money until our needs are more distinct. That concept is looking better and better right now. It will be difficult, yet perfect to entirely trust God's timing on this as well.

I am so thankful that my eternal salvation is not determined by how much money we get back during tax season and even more, that it is not even determined by how much we gave in the previous year. I know - fully and with my entire little frustrated heart - that we gave generously because we are commanded to give out of the fullness of our blessings and as an act of worship to an Almighty God - who is entirely in control of our finances.
But am I allowed to be ticked off at the government - just for a little while?